Giving Up


This title is slightly inaccurate. I am not giving up, I have given up..for the moment. Now before everyone tries to give me some speech to pump me up, or boost my confidence, I will state this now; keep it to yourself.

A few weeks back, I was going through a chapter. Typical rewrites and all that jazz. Then I see a message. One of many informing me of how terrible my writing is. As always, these types do not post it as a review, they just feet compelled to inform me. So as I do, I deleted it and went on my way. This, for some odd reason, is what made me change.

I went back to my editing fun, and after reading the same paragraph, I saved my work, shut it down, and decided to not look at it again. I am behind schedule, big time. This needs to get to the editors asap, yet I shut it down, and said fuck it. I still have my notebook to jot down the ideas I have to change up certain things, but otherwise, the novel sits there.

I have no idea where this came from. I do not have writers block, as I stated, notes are still filling up the book. As usual, my mind is overflowing with ideas. I really wish I knew why that one loser set me on this path. It’s quite frustrating for someone like me, who truly does not care about haters. I have been surrounded by them my entire life.

Sometime soon, I will begin again. I can’t let some idiot control my brain with stupid thoughts. I know Melarandra awaits my return.

For now, I will observe the magic of the world around me, and absorb as much as I can. That’s all I can ask of myself.


Another Milestone


Today my youngest is 20 years old. Where did the time go!? No more stating I have a teenager. The end of an era.

Yes that is dramatic, but it also rings true. My baby is in college, and finding her way in life. Deep down she is still my little girl.

I love seeing how much she has grown. Following the steps to achieving whatever she wishes. Every little set back dealt with head on.

No more is she the silly girl wanting to wear a summer dress to school in -40 weather. Or running around the yard with her bike helmut on, for fear of tripping in grass. (My family is unique)

So Happy Birthday to my second born. May all your dreams come true!

The Shawl


This shawl…what a story you have.

Years back, when life was crumbling and I was feeling quite down, a package arrived at my door. Inside was this crocheted shawl, and a note.

The sender’s church made these shawls, and gave them to people who were lost and in need of a hug. She couldn’t give me one herself, and felt I needed this shawl.

I immediately wrapped it around me, closed my eyes, and thought of better days to come. Although my life has become more wonderful than I could imagine, sometimes I use it. A virtual hug, if you will, to make me feel better.

The sender of this shawl was named Alice, and she left us yesterday. Another victim of a terrible disease, a disease which took many loved ones from people I know last year. And as it has been stated many times; Fuck Cancer.

So I say farewell to the sender of the shawl, and know all I can do is send virtual hugs to the family in mourning. You are in a better place, and the pain is done.


3 Years


3 years. Already! And..only?

January 4th, 2015. That was the day I picked. It was a difficult choice, and my stomach was turning the entire time, but I did it. On that morning, Children of the Sun and Moon was released on Kobo. It was where I decided would be the best start for me. I knew more people who used Kobo, so I took the plunge, and published it on there.

Months later, I had it up on more eBook sites, and also decided to jump into print copies. All I can say is..WOW!

This whole ordeal has been quite the learning experience. I found out there are many people out there who offer up advice, all to make you look like an idiot. There are those who you think are helping make your work better, but they don’t. It has been a roller coaster in every aspect. Many times I considered just stopping, but the characters scream I must continue their tale.

Currently I am working on book 5 in this series. I will be using new editors, and from what I have seen I believe they might be the ones! Only time will tell.

The idea to stop still crosses my mind. There are more negative words than there are positive supporters, and it can wear. I plug on, and will continue too until the words stop filling my head. I no longer fear what will happen when the novel is ready for publishing. Instead, I hit publish, and focus on the next tale. With so many to be told, I can’t stop now!

For more info, check out my website.

Almost Time


It’s almost time…for so many things. The solstice, my birthday, Christmas, and the finishing of this current novel.

Snow glitters on the ground, a sight I love to see. Soon we will have the longest night of the year. It’s a special time, one in which you can let go of the old, and embrace a new time. Most do this with the ending of the year, but the solstice is a far better time to do it.

Christmas quickly follows, and it is always a crazy time. On the eve, we visit with my ‘adopted’ family. We wake, and do the usual things, then go for a drive way past the town of Kakabeka Falls. Family time ensues, and before you know it, you are drained and wanting sleep.

It is my hope that this Christmas break I will be able to do all the finishing touches I need to do. I finally finished the rough draft of this novel, and already have much done with it. Still, it needs a lot more revising before I will be able to send it off to the editors. (aka cry time)

With the snow on the trees, and beautiful lights on homes, it is easy to let the world slip by, and forget so many things. I find much inspiration this time of year. Good and bad flourish, which makes my writing life easy. Observation is a key component to most writers, myself included.

So I will sit. I will listen, watch, and hope for great things to happen to my little part of the world. It might be wishful thinking, but I can still hope. After all, it’s almost time…for anything.

Silly Things Make Me Happy


A few weeks back, I received a message saying that someone saw my first novel listed at the local library. I totally forgot to go look it up, until yesterday.

You see, I logged onto one of my sites to see a copy of book 1 purchased. This triggered the memory, and I went onto the library website to see that it indeed was being picked up by them. It is not available to be lent out just yet, but should be soon. This had me wondering so I looked up the other three, and low and behold, there they were. Each of the four libraries is going to be carrying one of the novels.

I freaked out. It is awesome to have libraries, especially local ones, carry your work. I know one in Edmonton has them, but was not aware the local library was bringing them in. Had I known, I would have donated a set to them.

Some people asked me why I didn’t just go to them, and request they be brought in. Well, that just isn’t me. What I did do was ask anyone who used the library to put in a request. Guess they did! I know they are print copies, and am not certain if they are going to carry the eBook versions. I do have them listed as free for libraries, but have no idea if that is only in the USA, or if it’s all over.

I have put out there four copies of book 1 in those little libraries. There are tons scattered around here, so I felt it was the least I could do. I can’t do much, but try and do little things for my city.

So again, I wish to say Thank You to the Thunder Bay Public Library. I am overjoyed for this.

It’s Going To Be A Long Winter


Once again the snow is attempting to grace us. The next few days we should get a bit of a dusting, but who knows if it will stay. The temperature is dropping a little more each day, and more people begin to stay inside their cozy homes.

My job allows me to enjoy the days growing quieter. More often I watch the fallen leaves flow by on the winds, instead of watching for people. There is no need in the mid-afternoon. Of late, my thoughts dwell in unhappy places, so it is nice to get out and let nature bring harmony to my mind.

Too many things going on, and I can only control a few. It is 100% my fault that my latest novel is so far behind. Due to recent events in life, I doubt I will be getting back on track any time soon. As snow is inevitable in my area of the world, so is life taking dark turns.

I try to find solace in my fantasy world. Most days, all I need to do is write something happy, and it changes my outlook. Others need a little more, so I take to nature, and the perfection it is, to draw the dark thoughts away.

It isn’t working so well today, so here I am, attempting to bring light to my sad soul. Perhaps the magic within the snow will help.